this will be brief zero to hero Add a widget

This morning I spent one and half hours on my ‘zero to hero’ thing.  I’m behind, so I dont remember what day it was, something about adding widgets.   I quit, after 90 minutes, leaving it worse off than when I started.


Imagine baking a cake or trying to.

You have no clue what ounces, pounds,  mili liters or decimals or whatever system you use to cook with is about.

You are surrounded by an abundance of ingredients.

Try to figure out what those lines are on the measuring cups; not even sure what cups to use….

In the end, you push something into the oven, and then remember to turn it on…  flour, sugar, salt  etc, is everywhere, dusting the kitchen with whiteness. 

Computering is tricky for some of us.


It’s MY party….. The daily post

It’s the party I want to throw and here is what it’d be like…….    


People would easily find my house and not have to drive one and half hours from their remote locations.

They too could bring their dogs, because hey! I got 6 of ’em!!  (who knows if they’d get along?)

What kind of decorations?  (why you  bothering me with that crap?  I dont give a hoot!) We’d be outdoors, of course with all of the earth’s natural beautiful decorations! The blue Maine sky, with maybe some of those wispy clouds hanging round,  and some of those airplane contrails that my kid so loves to point out when we walk.  They’d  have started to break apart, and have that diaphanous look to them….  We’d have our home made wine, resting in coolers if that’s what you wish, or if you are one of those wine snobs that insist on having it at room temp, there’d be some of that too!  Of course there’d be beer, craft brew, home brew or Bud, your choice.  The music would be on as we talked, it wouldn’t be so loud that we couldn’t hear each other, but steady sound of stuff we like to hear, that makes us feel mellow (right along with the drinkable stuff)

I would have a hot tub, (it’s MY party, remember?) and if you wished, you could take dunk.  Or not.

There’d be tons of salads that I’d chopped up, easy to grill meats, that we’d cook for ourselves, or I could grill for you.

The flowers would be up already (ha- this IS a fantasy) and all of the beautiful Maine greenery. 

The chickens would be scurrying around, pecking/scratching here& there. 

My parrot Arlo would be outside with us; probably in his big outdoor cage, and the hawks wouldn’t be eyeing him from afar.  He would say clever things, like always, but without the curse words.   

The garden and stuff in pots would be growing successfully. 

Geneva  (kiddo) would be having the time of her life, because she is a social creature, despite her non verbal issues, she loves people, loves communicating.

There’d be plenty of places to sit comfortably,  and the black flies would be elsewhere, disturbed by all of the citronella candles I have placed elegantly around (yeh right)

I’d be laughing and enjoying my friends, because hey, that’s part of what life is for.


Easter vacation

Nowadays, in our politically correct world, this break that starts with early dismissal on Good Friday, and includes Easter Sunday, running through til the following Monday, is called spring break. My teenage girl has been at home. Her service hours have been cut again, (admittedly, she has made improvements in behaviors, etc and maybe a bit more mature, yay!)….Like most other vacations she needs to be monitored, entertained, structured (hard for me–I’m a whackadoodle/disorganized/a bit adhd myself). At age 17 (almost 18) she still considers Easter similar to Christmas. (She climbed downstairs at 6a.m., just as I put a cup of coffee to my lips…) Not because of me, and we dont have tv to consumerize this holiday. I usually make her a little basket, not much candy, some hard candies, some cheapo toy or two from the Dollar Store.

We visited friends on that Sunday, and they kindly came and got her yesterday, so she could have a bit of a break from boring old Mom, and see different stuff on her break.
I have enjoyed it. Since her ‘majority’ and all the paperwork, and unknown part of it is looming, it has also given me the time to be scared about what is going to happen.
Will I still get some services, to help with her behaviors during summer break?
Will someone still teach her how to go out in the community and behave/work/ be happy?
How will I part with this kid? (dont worry, it wont happen for a while, but I want what is best for her, and also I want what ‘I’ think will be best for her, since I’ve known her from infancy)
What other regulations will be visited on this social service contract I have with them? Will budget cuts further reduce what she needs to learn? Mommy cant teach her all of the ‘stuff’ simply because I am ‘the Mommy’ and therefor, she wont do for me what she does for others. (learning, growing, changing, etc)
Besides, when do I get a break? I want to be around, and vigilant, but I want her to have her own (happy, successful-whatever that means) life too. I want her to socialize, have fun, learn about work, (been working towards those goals a long time….now, that distant point on the horizon is getting closer, closer) I dont want her to be at the mercy of some of those places, where nothing happens but the TV is on 24/7 while workers sit and watch.
I’m kind of exited/scared/worried/praying&visualizing for the best for this wonderful kid. She’s come so far! Still has quite a way to go!

zero to hero! Hopefulcircus!

Hi! This days’ assignment is late; it’s already 8:49 pm…..

Today, I went outside, ready to move all of the dog kennel panels around and rearrange where they will ‘play’ (read-dig, crap, bark roll in whatever, dance delightedly when they see a chicken wander by on the other side, etc) and instead, again, snipped, shaved, sawed, clipped and raked, and used a pitchfork to move all of the ‘dewberry’ or (dont think they are ‘blackberry’ vines) brambles that inhabit a good deal of my back yard, and keep us from using it. 

This requires constant monitoring during the growing season; yes, they bear fruit- sort of like a dewberry, (cousin to a blackberry?) but the fruit isn’t always abundant each year, nor is it always sweet.  The last few years, my kid picks the fruit, eats some, ‘saves’ some and I watch the canes slowly creep further, further to places I like to walk by…. sometimes I see my dogs lay on their backs and eat the fruit.  It’s not often, but it is notable.  Other years have destroyed perfectly good pants, old jeans, and skin while trying to tame these things.  Who planted these?  Are they wild? Invasive? What?

I also almost bought some wyandotte eggs to hatch, but the incubator wont decide if it’s up or down a notch….

I did go to Frankfort and buy 6 newly hatched easter eggers/olive eggers.  At least, that’s what I’m told they are.  Who knows?  Half of them resemble barred rock chicks.  This isn’t unusual…..some breeds resemble others when new.

Anyway, I have 14 of barred rock, rhode island red, and Jersey Giant chicks, almost 3 weeks old.  

Now I have more brand new chicks.  The lady also showed me (if ever I get smart enough to operate the doggone incubator) her

barnyard mix—-fertile eggs all collected from her chicken yard.    I might;  am looking for some good dual purpose  so some can go in freezer.

She offered me (the tease!) a baby goat–haha! BTDT!  Back in my 30s…

Anyway,  that ‘s my  commitment done for today.

By the way, the BHP who is certain that all retards are stupid is gone.

I hope they showed her the door- and didn’t reassign her to some unsuspecting person, who expects a trained worker to treat her kid with respect and dignity….

Let me know how I’m doing!

I tried to get a pic of the first set of baby chicks- but they all ran around in horror (like little ants when you lift a rock up off of their home) and everything was blurry.  I’ll try again in a few weeks, when they are used to us and not closed up in a box.

hatchlings, spring, etc

On Friday I drove a couple of towns over from me and picked up some hatchling chicks.   They aren’t ‘really’ day olds, they were about 10 days old.   All together, I bought 14.   I also bought the ‘chicken box/small brooder’ that the man hatching the eggs had built and used for his own chickens.   He’s a carpenter/farmer/paper mill worker, who’s been laid off, and has time on his hands.  He does the right thing; he figures out how to keep busy, learn, and make a bit of cash while he’s at it.  Until the mill re calls the laid off workers, he’s the stay at home dad.


The chicken brooder is strong, sturdy and the cover is well made too.   I struggle with pulling it off 3 times a day to change the feed and water of the little cheeping, pooping, eating balls of fluff.  Have raised chicks in the past, and am not an expert, but have the general idea of how to do it correctly.  Here’s hoping that it works!!!  I look forward to these as egg layers (he told me that they’d been sexed by someone who knew what they were doing, and if I did get a rooster, they’d trade me a female chick)


Yesterday it snowed; sheesh!  Today it is sunny and in the 60s.  I went outside, and trimmed some of my flowering shrubs, and really, was supposed to do it around end of February, but honestly, some of them were covered with 4 feet of packed snow, so it was not possible.  Guess I could have trimmed the forsythia then, it is above my head, but again, it was hard to manuever out there to see it.  This winter was very cold and very long.

Cleaned out the rest of the hen house.  Did the first half the other sunny day (when was that?).  I set up a corner with an old dog crate, and nesting material, so the broody hen of my choice can incubate some eggs I am picking up.  I learned last spring that I have many broody hens, and others who wouldn’t mind being broody, either…..  Other years, when I wanted to have chicks from my flock, I had the wrong kind, apparently, not a one of them sat on eggs.  This flock, a cheap, mixed small breed of hens has hatched out a few for me in the past.  The only trouble was, that last year I did know that all of them would crowd in and sit their eggs.  Many battles, to throw them off, so I could eat those eggs!!!  This time, the dog crate will keep the one I want to use as a surrogate mom, separate.

  The incubator I ordered is also here-finally!!- so I will set it up tonight, and put some of the eggs in it, too.

The eggs I ordered from local farmers are Wyandottes and ‘olive eggers’ and ‘easter eggers’…..  I hope I do good, and hatch/keep alive/healthy all of these baby chicks!!!

I am considering buying a small hen house so my youngest kid can have a ‘job’ of feeding/watering chickens and collecting eggs too.  

Someone else mentioned in their blog that when they have too many eggs, they make cake.  If I did that here, with all the eggs I have now, we’d be 20lbs heavier!  I give them to friends, or trade for other small stuff.  I love eating them, too!

special kid and her worker

today, I tried to make my special needs kid’s worker  understand why I am against  paying money for consumeristic shit.

Yes, she (my child) ‘earned’ the money–through exercising …..’yes’ she ‘saved’ every day that she exercised….. after racking up $45 in ‘savings’  my child (nearly 18 years old) chose to buy a disney jr doll house (Doc McStuffins)……it makes me sick to know that everything I have done to lead her away from consumeristic bullshit is now being ignored by her worker– the ‘expert’ who told me that my kid could ‘comprehend’ or wasn’t capable of  reading at her grade level…..(wrong, by the way–she can, indeed, but isn’t interested in stuff at 11th grade level)  How can I make someone understand that my child exercises when I walk with her?  She doesn’t need a ‘reward’ for doing 30 minutes on a fucking elliptical— that she is great at walking outdoors when it’s not 20 below, or when there is ice on the ground.     

I need to change this; I tried and tried to explain to the ‘expert’ why saving for useless stupid preschool toys isn’t a ‘reward’, it is a re enforcement of  spending cash earned on something worthless.    ‘she earned it— how can I tell her she cant spend it on what she wants?’   

what a load of stupid crap.

She did a bit of exercise.  Guessing that the cross country runners and the  track team dont get ‘paid’ for their endeavors,

computer stupid!

I have just spent another 30 minutes trying to upload a stupid photo to my page.

I’m stupid!  I’m stupid! I’m stupid!   I have the attention span and frustration level of a gnat!

Until I can ask, ask again, and ask another 10,000 times, (and then not want to take a bat to the screen)  I will simply describe things in this blog.  One day, it will become stunningly simple to me–posting or uploading photos, I mean…..  then, I will forget how immediately, and go through the whole doggone thing again……my life in pictures.

I will talk the next time about the hatchlings I just picked up yesterday from a cool young man in a town or two over from me.

Other stuff too.   Right now, am tired of trying to post a photo.

Thanks to those who saw my blog.  I have looked at a few, and I see so many that are interesting!