restless

It’s another beautiful day here in vacationland; think it’s not going to be too hot or humid, with a chance of some afternoon showers.
Today’s the day! Kiddo has a few hours with her behavioral worker, a lady who shows her how to behave socially in the community, how to figure out a budget (heck, maybe I should go along with them) how to do various everyday things that she’ll need to know for the future.
Then, a week of overnight camp, I’m so blessed! When she returns from her time spent with her worker, we’ll take a stroll, and then, drive to camp! Hurrah!
Yes, I love her dearly. Yes, I enjoy (mostly) the time we share. It’s summer vacation here in kidville….I need a bit of breathing space, and break from being on call, from being the (1) activity director (2) supervisor (3)butt wipe (4)shoe tie servant, and any number of other stuff I do on a regular basis.
Does she know how to do some chores? Yes. Lots of times, it’s easier to just get it done by myself, instead of being a job coach and stand and instruct, repeatedly. Then, there is always the arguing about getting something done. That’s any teen, but with kiddo it is times 100.
She’s improved in her behavior and has matured alot in last few years. She still is a 3 or 4 year old in many ways, but in some ways, she reminds me of an ‘almost typical’ teen.
I wont be inactive when she is having fun at camp. There is stuff to do, (plenty!) and appointments to keep. I just have a real hankering to be left alone for a while. No conversations, no arguments, no discussions, no answering questions with obvious answers (her way of chatting,and being reassured, I think).
Arlo the parrot, also is restless this morning, probably picked it up from me. He’s demanded buttered toast, yelled at the squirrels outdoors, asked to go out, demanded eggs, and asked for ‘bobbity’. Yes, he got the eggs, and I’m all out of the ‘bobbity’, which is a grain, vegetable mix I make. Gave him some other stuff too, but he isn’t satisfied yet. He went outdoors, and I can hear him yelling ‘your ears are wierd!’ and ‘stop that!’you are a wienerd!’ (he made that up himself; he used to love to eat little bites of wieners, when I’d feed them to the kids when they were little. He’d ask repeatedly for wieners…Finally, we began to tell him that he WAS a wiener. Then, he coined the phrase ‘you’re a wie-nerd!’)
I hope you all have a good day; it’s time to pack up for camp.

nature walk

Yesterday, kiddo and I went for a walk around the forested paths that are nearby the middle and elementary schools. We picked raspberries, ate them as we went. I had brought a plastic cup for her to put her berries in, because I know she likes to fill the cup, and then in the evening, enjoy them by herself.
The sun was warm on us and I thought back to May and June, when I wondered if it would ever get above 60 degrees, and if the earth would ever warm up enough to plant/grow anything. Took a break from picking and walked some more and stopped at a blueberry patch. I stood and watched her- what a picture it would have made! She, bent, picking the berries off the low to the ground plants, standing straight occasionally. She wore a blue shirt and olive capris. I wished for a camera, but only had my cell phone. It doesn’t download very well…

She harvested the berries unaware of her own sweetness and simplicity and my heart ached a bit for a few moments, as I watched a young adult, busy, focused on her prize.
It could have been anywhere; it could have been anyone.

hopefulcircus.wordpress.com

Two weeks ago, took a walk on a cool sunny June day. Kiddo came along, and we wended our way through trees, across small streams, waving summer grasses and flowers. I wore a yellow/orange LLBean anorak of my daughter’s, most would call the color ‘school bus yellow’, but I think its color was described as ‘alpine flower’ or something like that by LLBean marketing.
I describe the color, because I like it, but also because it seemed to attract butterflies. Maybe I looked like a giant flower to them, and they came towards me to unfurl their proboscis and drink deeply. Most would notice immediately that I wasn’t a flower and skitter away quickly. One yellow tigerstripe swallowtail butterfly didn’t notice immediately. She landed on my shoulder (so pretty!) and then, startled, flew up and away. She ascended towards the tree tops and I called out ‘thank you! You’re beautiful!’ Kept walking, and I’ll be darned if that same butterfly, after flying up towards the trees, didn’t flutter back down to the top of my head! She fluttered around the very top of my head 3 times! How cool was that?
I felt like I’d been crowned or blessed or connected with something special. Just for a second, but it lifted my spirits and I saw her flutter along for a bit more, and disappear. Nature is magical.

walking the parrot

It’s been a while since I’ve posted; life gets in the way….Plus, what energy I have usually gets used up on all of the other ‘deal with it now’ things.
The other day my youngest daughter and I went for a walk through a very pretty wooded area, with gravel paths. It is maintained by the parks and recreation department, though I hesitate to call it a ‘park’–The public schools are built very nearby-hunters use the area (not the ‘park’ area, but designated private property that borders the park) and of course, we get to enjoy all of the wildlife that wander around both public and private land. During hunting season, I always wear a ‘hunter orange’pullover jacket. It’s warm, fleece with a hood and lets others know that hey! I’m not a deer!
This is one of the places I’ve seen bear (and bear tracks, large areas of flattened grass, eaten berries, etc) fox, herons, woodchucks, deer etc. It is beautiful, and I love it.
Sometimes I bring my parrot, Arlo to the walk. Jim, my friend has made a ‘walking’ cage out of old wire dog crate, golf bag carrier, and zip ties. It gets the job done, cost just a few bucks (the wheeled carrier from Salvation Army) and probably cements people’s opinions of me as more than eccentric. Usually Arlo will make remarks as we slowly amble along, like ‘hurry up kiddo!’ (speaking to my daughter who loves to daydream & dawdle in the woods) or ‘ok, I want to come out now.’ or ‘that’s enough! I want that!’
Yesterday, as we walked, he saw some really large crows. A month or two ago, he flew off Jim’s hand during a very windy day, and was gone for 2nights. He came back again, which is a story I’ll tell another time.
The crows were focused on something, imperious, seemingly ordering one or another around.

Arlo said ‘ oh! you handsome crows! hello crows! You’re so fine! I wanna come out now! Crows, hi!’
I remembered how missed he was during his absence in the woods around our house. Also remembered how hungry he was, and the food he asked for first.
Sorry, Arlo didn’t come out of his walking cage.