dont patronize me….do YOUR job

Today I had an interesting conversation with the woman who is the supervisor of the case manager of the organization that works with my special needs kid.

I know she is relatively new to the position. I know she doesn’t really have any idea yet, how to help me or kiddo, as far as information about adult special needs services, or the differences between chapter 28, 29 and 17, and which would best serve my adult child.
She is very nice. Friendly. Tries to be sympathetic, but usually comes off as patronizing. (‘weellll, that’s how teenager act, ….’ oh, really? ) Thanks alot, Einstein!

Teenagers, (typical ones) usually cant wait to get out of the house and see their friends. Teenagers dont sit in their rooms and play with legos, read Dora the Explorer, cut out coupons obsessively, shred their clothing, and chew their toe nails and finger nails til they bleed. Teenagers, by age 18 years can drive to their friends. Teenagers have plans, usually big plans, that involve leaving home. Non typical teens? Not so much.
Oh, yes, typical teens usually have friends to visit. Special teens have friends, but it isn’t the same thing at all.

Typical teenagers dont expect their moms to wipe their butts, tie their shoes, serve them coffee (well, maybe on that one) or a host of other things. Typical teens dont need to be monitored for safety reasons (yes, yes, I know, typical teens DO need to be montitored….just not as much, and not as intensely)

Typical teens dont throw tantrums like a 3 year old; not at home, screaming constantly, yelling at the tops of their lungs, throwing things around, and this isn’t just a ‘home’ behavior, it also happens at the store, when the ‘non typical’ teen doesn’t get her way, or is tired, or is unhappy. Sorry! Dont patronize me, and tell me my kid has all the ‘typical’ behavior of a teen. I can seperate the two types of behaviors, and I really dont need someone who is clueless about special population patronizing me.
Dont suggest for me to take her on a ‘field trip’ Huh? GMAFB!! Shop for school clothes? Thanks for the bulletin! If a typical teen can drive, they can (and do) drive to the mall and buy overpriced clothing by themselves. My goal is to prepare this kid to live elsewhere. Not yet, but in the future. You dont need to advise me on what I ‘should’ do with my special teen.

I dont need your advice about child rearing. You need to focus on learning YOUR job, then doing it! (haven’t seen jackshit yet) and stop telling me about MY JOB.


One thought on “dont patronize me….do YOUR job

  1. Rants are good, I like rants 🙂 I can’t imagine what you deal with every single day, and I am truly sorry that persons who should be way more empathatic because it is their JOB are letting you down or at least are very disappointing. I wish you strenght!

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