walking the parrot

It’s been a while since I’ve posted; life gets in the way….Plus, what energy I have usually gets used up on all of the other ‘deal with it now’ things.
The other day my youngest daughter and I went for a walk through a very pretty wooded area, with gravel paths. It is maintained by the parks and recreation department, though I hesitate to call it a ‘park’–The public schools are built very nearby-hunters use the area (not the ‘park’ area, but designated private property that borders the park) and of course, we get to enjoy all of the wildlife that wander around both public and private land. During hunting season, I always wear a ‘hunter orange’pullover jacket. It’s warm, fleece with a hood and lets others know that hey! I’m not a deer!
This is one of the places I’ve seen bear (and bear tracks, large areas of flattened grass, eaten berries, etc) fox, herons, woodchucks, deer etc. It is beautiful, and I love it.
Sometimes I bring my parrot, Arlo to the walk. Jim, my friend has made a ‘walking’ cage out of old wire dog crate, golf bag carrier, and zip ties. It gets the job done, cost just a few bucks (the wheeled carrier from Salvation Army) and probably cements people’s opinions of me as more than eccentric. Usually Arlo will make remarks as we slowly amble along, like ‘hurry up kiddo!’ (speaking to my daughter who loves to daydream & dawdle in the woods) or ‘ok, I want to come out now.’ or ‘that’s enough! I want that!’
Yesterday, as we walked, he saw some really large crows. A month or two ago, he flew off Jim’s hand during a very windy day, and was gone for 2nights. He came back again, which is a story I’ll tell another time.
The crows were focused on something, imperious, seemingly ordering one or another around.

Arlo said ‘ oh! you handsome crows! hello crows! You’re so fine! I wanna come out now! Crows, hi!’
I remembered how missed he was during his absence in the woods around our house. Also remembered how hungry he was, and the food he asked for first.
Sorry, Arlo didn’t come out of his walking cage.


a nice day in Maine (Lima puke and bobbity) www.zerotohero.wordpress.com

today was beautiful! Sunny, ‘warm’ – the wind blew, but it was not icy; the temperature was 49 when I woke up; soon got to the 60s. I walked/trained the dogs, took Arlo to the greenhouse, brought the ‘almost old enough chicks’ outside in an old wire dog crate–soon, they’ll take their smelly selves to the henhouse. The younger chicks (about 2 & half weeks) are still in their plastic storage container, contentedly sleeping on/off all day long, under the reptile heat lamp… Geneva and I walked after she got home from school, went over the bridge to Verona Island, saw the osprey pair, on their nest. They took turns flying out over the penobscot looking for food. They were low enough that we could see their feet. Guessing they have chicks now, since they so diligently flew out and back, out and back. We also saw a cormorant fly over, and some ducks. The great blue herons are here, too, near where my house is. I’ve spotted them other years, during wet springs, just before they took off from my woods…they make a ‘graaaak’ kind of noise, before they take off (at least that day they did) This morning, Arlo was anxious to go outside, he has been talking about the ‘pretty flowers’ and saying ‘thank you’ to the outside birds when they fly to the feeders….I wonder if he is referring to the goldfinches when he remarks about the ‘pretty flowers’? Especially, when he says ‘thank you’. Anyway, he saw that we were leaving the house without taking him/he became agitated and started demanding stuff….’I want some Lima Puke’ was one of his demands….was sad to tell him I didn’t have any, but I did have some ‘bobbity’ (his name for grain/veggie/fruit mush I make him…

dailypost.wordpress.com reason to believe

dailypost.wordpress.com reason to believe

  • What is my reason to believe?

The seasonal changes give me a reason to believe. The black night gives me reason, whether it has millions of stars or whether it’s cloudy, blanketed, moonless, muffled. 

     Reasons to believe show up in almost everything, admittedly, I dont see everything in everyone. Lacking that insight, I guess.    Watching people walk down the street, driving their cars, what wierd looking things we are!  What possible reason on earth would we be here, except for Someone else’s decision?

Watch anything alive, that is young or new or just hatched, born, developed.  It is a miracle that wasn’t engineered by man. (certainly man has engineered living things, and that’s another subject, another debate.)  Watch a person die of a wasting/life eating disease, you will be certain that life exists, gives & takes joy and sadness, overwhelming grief.

Feel the insides of your soul darken, become numb, and stumble through your daily existance, while others thrive, are glad, succeed in their own right.  It’s not jealousy that happens, but you my friend/reader, you, understand the other side of the reason to believe.

We dont always know the reason we should believe.  Read, watch, listen to the news and there are scads of human beings worldwide, who cant see past their own grasping beliefs.  They would rather destroy than build up. They would rather eradicate other lives than wonder/watch/ponder.    Not ever enough room or freedom of thought for them to ponder.

This is my personal take on ‘stuff’ and so, what i witness, experience, bleed, isn’t the same as yours.  I will talk about what I know. When my kids were babies, with wonder I watched them grow, at the beginning, it was so easy to see!  Infants grow minute by minutes, right in front of your eyes!  Life has power!  My oldest was ahead of all of her milestones,  an acheiver, one who wanted to do everything, anything, and was certain she could do it right.  Why shouldn’t she believe that?  I hope she still holds that in her heart.

My second child, had a rough go during gestation; a crackhead mom, who drank, smoked weed, and other unhealthy stuff.  She came to me when she was 4 days old.  Through her whole infancy, I could see the spark of interest, life, creativity, while I wondered wondered wondered what the hell was her diagnosis?  No one knew the first few years.  She was ‘unique’ (yeah, you really want to hear that with a special kid; it means ‘we dont know how to approach teaching her, we dont know what to do’  –good thing I figured it out!  I didn’t need a degree, or a medical certificate or a box of labels.)     I knew I had to believe in her and give her that same sense of belief and wonder, because it might be the only thing she would have for a while.  I talked endlessly to her, showed her everything/anything, took her outdoors to sample all of the wonders of the earth, collected leaves, weeds, grasses, on the walks we took (she in her stroller, would bend down and grasp leaves, and hold them in her lap until we sat with a book and looked up the names)  Alot of it with her was a struggle. I can see the stars in her, sometimes, when all the clouds part on occasion, and see the light shining through.  Hope she carries it through her whole life- the clearing part, I mean. I want others to recognize it, too.

Both kids gave me a reason to believe; granted, I have faltered sometimes.  Mostly, just figured that it was all to enormous for me to understand.  www.hopefulcircus.wordpress.com

this will be brief http://www.hopefulcircus.wordpress.com zero to hero Add a widget

This morning I spent one and half hours on my ‘zero to hero’ thing.  I’m behind, so I dont remember what day it was, something about adding widgets.   I quit, after 90 minutes, leaving it worse off than when I started.


Imagine baking a cake or trying to.

You have no clue what ounces, pounds,  mili liters or decimals or whatever system you use to cook with is about.

You are surrounded by an abundance of ingredients.

Try to figure out what those lines are on the measuring cups; not even sure what cups to use….

In the end, you push something into the oven, and then remember to turn it on…  flour, sugar, salt  etc, is everywhere, dusting the kitchen with whiteness. 

Computering is tricky for some of us.

It’s MY party….. The daily post

It’s the party I want to throw and here is what it’d be like…….    http://www.thedailypost.wordpress.com    


People would easily find my house and not have to drive one and half hours from their remote locations.

They too could bring their dogs, because hey! I got 6 of ’em!!  (who knows if they’d get along?)

What kind of decorations?  (why you  bothering me with that crap?  I dont give a hoot!) We’d be outdoors, of course with all of the earth’s natural beautiful decorations! The blue Maine sky, with maybe some of those wispy clouds hanging round,  and some of those airplane contrails that my kid so loves to point out when we walk.  They’d  have started to break apart, and have that diaphanous look to them….  We’d have our home made wine, resting in coolers if that’s what you wish, or if you are one of those wine snobs that insist on having it at room temp, there’d be some of that too!  Of course there’d be beer, craft brew, home brew or Bud, your choice.  The music would be on as we talked, it wouldn’t be so loud that we couldn’t hear each other, but steady sound of stuff we like to hear, that makes us feel mellow (right along with the drinkable stuff)

I would have a hot tub, (it’s MY party, remember?) and if you wished, you could take dunk.  Or not.

There’d be tons of salads that I’d chopped up, easy to grill meats, that we’d cook for ourselves, or I could grill for you.

The flowers would be up already (ha- this IS a fantasy) and all of the beautiful Maine greenery. 

The chickens would be scurrying around, pecking/scratching here& there. 

My parrot Arlo would be outside with us; probably in his big outdoor cage, and the hawks wouldn’t be eyeing him from afar.  He would say clever things, like always, but without the curse words.   

The garden and stuff in pots would be growing successfully. 

Geneva  (kiddo) would be having the time of her life, because she is a social creature, despite her non verbal issues, she loves people, loves communicating.

There’d be plenty of places to sit comfortably,  and the black flies would be elsewhere, disturbed by all of the citronella candles I have placed elegantly around (yeh right)

I’d be laughing and enjoying my friends, because hey, that’s part of what life is for.


Easter vacation

Nowadays, in our politically correct world, this break that starts with early dismissal on Good Friday, and includes Easter Sunday, running through til the following Monday, is called spring break. My teenage girl has been at home. Her service hours have been cut again, (admittedly, she has made improvements in behaviors, etc and maybe a bit more mature, yay!)….Like most other vacations she needs to be monitored, entertained, structured (hard for me–I’m a whackadoodle/disorganized/a bit adhd myself). At age 17 (almost 18) she still considers Easter similar to Christmas. (She climbed downstairs at 6a.m., just as I put a cup of coffee to my lips…) Not because of me, and we dont have tv to consumerize this holiday. I usually make her a little basket, not much candy, some hard candies, some cheapo toy or two from the Dollar Store.

We visited friends on that Sunday, and they kindly came and got her yesterday, so she could have a bit of a break from boring old Mom, and see different stuff on her break.
I have enjoyed it. Since her ‘majority’ and all the paperwork, and unknown part of it is looming, it has also given me the time to be scared about what is going to happen.
Will I still get some services, to help with her behaviors during summer break?
Will someone still teach her how to go out in the community and behave/work/ be happy?
How will I part with this kid? (dont worry, it wont happen for a while, but I want what is best for her, and also I want what ‘I’ think will be best for her, since I’ve known her from infancy)
What other regulations will be visited on this social service contract I have with them? Will budget cuts further reduce what she needs to learn? Mommy cant teach her all of the ‘stuff’ simply because I am ‘the Mommy’ and therefor, she wont do for me what she does for others. (learning, growing, changing, etc)
Besides, when do I get a break? I want to be around, and vigilant, but I want her to have her own (happy, successful-whatever that means) life too. I want her to socialize, have fun, learn about work, (been working towards those goals a long time….now, that distant point on the horizon is getting closer, closer) I dont want her to be at the mercy of some of those places, where nothing happens but the TV is on 24/7 while workers sit and watch.
I’m kind of exited/scared/worried/praying&visualizing for the best for this wonderful kid. She’s come so far! Still has quite a way to go!

zero to hero! Hopefulcircus!

Hi! This days’ assignment is late; it’s already 8:49 pm…..

Today, I went outside, ready to move all of the dog kennel panels around and rearrange where they will ‘play’ (read-dig, crap, bark roll in whatever, dance delightedly when they see a chicken wander by on the other side, etc) and instead, again, snipped, shaved, sawed, clipped and raked, and used a pitchfork to move all of the ‘dewberry’ or (dont think they are ‘blackberry’ vines) brambles that inhabit a good deal of my back yard, and keep us from using it. 

This requires constant monitoring during the growing season; yes, they bear fruit- sort of like a dewberry, (cousin to a blackberry?) but the fruit isn’t always abundant each year, nor is it always sweet.  The last few years, my kid picks the fruit, eats some, ‘saves’ some and I watch the canes slowly creep further, further to places I like to walk by…. sometimes I see my dogs lay on their backs and eat the fruit.  It’s not often, but it is notable.  Other years have destroyed perfectly good pants, old jeans, and skin while trying to tame these things.  Who planted these?  Are they wild? Invasive? What?

I also almost bought some wyandotte eggs to hatch, but the incubator wont decide if it’s up or down a notch….

I did go to Frankfort and buy 6 newly hatched easter eggers/olive eggers.  At least, that’s what I’m told they are.  Who knows?  Half of them resemble barred rock chicks.  This isn’t unusual…..some breeds resemble others when new.

Anyway, I have 14 of barred rock, rhode island red, and Jersey Giant chicks, almost 3 weeks old.  

Now I have more brand new chicks.  The lady also showed me (if ever I get smart enough to operate the doggone incubator) her

barnyard mix—-fertile eggs all collected from her chicken yard.    I might;  am looking for some good dual purpose  so some can go in freezer.

She offered me (the tease!) a baby goat–haha! BTDT!  Back in my 30s…

Anyway,  that ‘s my  commitment done for today.

By the way, the BHP who is certain that all retards are stupid is gone.

I hope they showed her the door- and didn’t reassign her to some unsuspecting person, who expects a trained worker to treat her kid with respect and dignity….

Let me know how I’m doing!

I tried to get a pic of the first set of baby chicks- but they all ran around in horror (like little ants when you lift a rock up off of their home) and everything was blurry.  I’ll try again in a few weeks, when they are used to us and not closed up in a box.